What to expect in your life as an expat
My expectations as an expat
As you might have read before in the post on finding your people or the post on overcoming challenges as an expat, being an expat can be really fulfilling and also quite challenging at the same time.
And, one thing that can really help us navigate the challenges of being an expat is managing our expectations and really setting realistic expectations so that we can move forward and handle any challenges that come our way.
Today I want to bring you a bit about my own experience on my first move as an expat plus some practical tips that can help you in your journey because that is always the goal around here.
What did I do about my expectations?
Right before moving to Edinburgh, back in 2018, I had no expectations of what an expat life was like.
Well, no that is not true. I expected it to be hard and somehow I also had the expectation that I might feel lonely, especially in the beginning.
Do you know why?
Because of what everyone was projecting onto me about being an expat. Because of what everyone had told me about feeling lonely, about feeling isolated and that was scary as hell…
So I moved to Edinburgh completely frightened about what was expecting me without really knowing what was on the other side.
And the first few months, it was almost as if I was proving myself right.
Since I didn’t really know what to do, I met people that I didn’t fully align with, and the truth is, I felt alone.
When everything started to change
Everything started to change when I decided I wanted to meet people I felt aligned with and I wanted to have friends!
True friends!
People I could count on, people that would be there for me no matter what and people that would feel like family.
And so that is what I did. As soon as I started believing that was possible, I started going to events, I started connecting with more people and that is when I started feeling more at home.
I am sharing this to show you how your expectations can change the action you take and even how you look at life.
My expectations ended up making me not take action to create a life I loved from the beginning and later, when I started realizing what I truly wanted and expecting it to work, that is when everything changed.
Listen to expats stories on what to expect on your life as an expat
What can you expect in your life as an expat
The truth is, our expectations can shape a lot of how our experience truly is.
What do I mean by this?
If we are expecting something to be really hard and to even be impossible while expecting to feel lonely, we might end up not trying to take any action because we take it as the whole truth.
If we expect our expat journey to be easy and that everything will be simple from the first day and then something happens and it isn’t as easy as we expected, we might feel defeated and not really know what to do next.
So, keep on reading to see what type of expectations could help you the most so that you create a life you love as an expat.
Realistic expectations
One thing that I always help my clients with is setting realistic expectations.
Realistic expectations mean focusing on what immediate actions you can take and what you can actually control right now.
If a situation is completely new, let’s say moving for the first time as an expat, maybe a realistic expectation to set is that you will need to go to events to find people.
So realistic expectations are fairly connected to what is within your control.
We can’t predict what our future will be like but, we can ask ourselves what we want our life to be like and ask ourselves what can we do to create that.
So, what sounds more helpful to you?
Expecting to feel lonely as an expat and that’s all.
Or
Expecting to find your people in your journey and taking action to create that reality?
This comes really connected with being hopeful for the future you want which involves:
- Setting realistic goals
- Being persistent in overcoming anything that gets in your way (read more about overcoming challenges)
- Belief in ourselves
The more we work on all these components, the more we can create realistic expectations and make them come to life.
Even when it might seem impossible.
Even when everything seems to be falling apart.
What if, when our minds tell us, this will never pass, we ask ourselves how would it look like if it did?
In the end, I come back to the same question which is, what do you want for your life?
Growth mindset
A growth mindset comes a lot into this topic.
If you want to read more about it click here.
In this scenario, having a growth mindset means you believe you can build the skills for creating a life you love as an expat.
If you are not used to going to events and making new friends, you can build those skills, one step at a time.
If you don’t speak the language and that is affecting your life, you know you can learn that language step by step.
Here is where the effort comes up.
After you set realistic expectations about how you want your life to look like and how you want to feel in it, what if you asked yourself, what action could I take here?
Obstacle anticipation
Lastly but just as important as all the other topics mentioned in this post, I wanted to talk to you about anticipating obstacles in your way.
The truth is, life is messy. Life will come with its challenges.
The more you take this into account, the more you can prepare yourself for anything that can come your way.
So let’s say, you have set your goal.
You have an expectation of what you need to do.
Now what?
Now while you take action, it is so important that you ask yourself, in the past, what challenges did I face? How did I overcome them?
What challenges might I face right now?
The more we anticipate obstacles, the more we prepare ourselves for it. Will you be able to anticipate all the possible obstacles? Not at all.
But the more that you are aware that they can happen and the more you build your skills to deal with stressful situations, the more you can overcome anything.
Tiny action
So now, after all of this, what can you actually do to move forward?
The reason why this is the last topic of this post is that the first thing is not taking action, the first thing is connecting with yourself, understanding how you feel and how you think and what you actually want.
And then, then it is the time to take action.
Regarding what to expect in your expat life:
- Set realistic expectations
- Pay attention to your mindset
- Ask yourself what challenges can come your way.
Listen to more practical tips on what to expect in your life as an expat
What does this all mean?
The goal of this post is to help you reflect and to help you take action at the same time.
I have been where you are and it can seem like it will always be the same but the truth is you can take action in your life to create a different outcome.
You might not have control over the outcome of your life (a topic for another time) but you do have control over the action you take to move towards the goal you have.
The important thing is knowing what you want, connecting with your future self, learning from your past self and taking action to move forward.
Reach out
All of the topics mentioned in this post are the things I help my clients with.
- Setting goals aligned with what matters to them
- Knowing how they want to feel in the future
- Knowing what can stand in their way
- And creating a life completely aligned with who they truly are
If you want to know more, click below and book a discovery call!
How it is to work with me
Wondering what do I help expats with and how does it all work? Click below to know more!